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Day Terrors

from PUBLIC TERRA FIRMA by Drew Silverman

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lyrics

Small masses in the distance felt like any new beginning might; ripe with possibility, but an easy mental sidestep brought the fear of failure rushing in.

I came upon one of these masses, an obelisk rune towering over me, goring me straight between the eyes with a sense of immateriality, all actions and choices I'd ever made of an entirely inconsequential nature.

It wasn't wrong. Well, at least my actions were less important than the actions of the whole. The biome was what kept balance, in a beautifully chaotic way.

As a part of the biome of course the consequences of our actions are real, but as my grandmother always told me, stake too much of yourself within your own trip and you will be rewarded with a lifetime of repetitive, violent confusion.

How can we insure a healthier nervous system for our organism?

It seems, the more important question is: how can we convince everyone, even though it may mean momentary inconveniences, that considering the creature as a whole is more crucial than any individual cell contained within it?

Can the sheer majestic presence of something that has existed long before you and will exist long after you inspire such feelings of connectivity? Or perhaps, that all the matter in the universe has always existed, but has been reconfigured in a multitude of different ways to make you, me, this obelisk, that satchel.

What story might work best?

Maybe if we can enter this mindset without fear, a true acceptance that understanding will always be a journey worth taking, but not a destination worth relying on; perhaps then the wonderous body of this beast, this creature, this mass of cells could take our breath away and reinstall the breath of the universe into our starved lungs.

"DAMNIT!" A Turbulent just attached itself to my ankle. I woke up two hours later, no recollection of the interim. A Turbulent brood gathers up on the hill almost out of sight.

They're never fully out of mind.

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from PUBLIC TERRA FIRMA, released November 9, 2020

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Drew Silverman Austin, Texas

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